“You break me down to pieces, watch me come undone”…

~

Why did you do it…
Why did you come back…

Subjecting my world…
To a sustained attack…

Casting your spells…
And poisoning my mind…

Is this just a game to you…
Why act so unkind…

You know that I’m weak…
You know my Achilles heel…

Yet you exploit my feelings…
Put me though this ordeal…

Does it make you smile…
To inflict all this pain…

Has it become your mission…
To drive me insane…

And make me pay…
For all my mistakes…

Is this what you want…
Is this what it takes…

Getting your thrills…
By watching me suffer…

Was I really that bad…
Hurt you like no other…

Leaving those scars…
So deep and so wide…

Hurting so badly…
Omnipresent, deep inside…

That have left you damaged…
With a thirst for revenge…

And you know how to get it…
You know I’ll descend…

Because I’m an addict…
And you are my drug…

Which makes it so easy…
For you to smile so smug…

And taste your victory…
Over and over again…

Getting off on my torment…
Getting high on my pain…

~

“If a child, a child cries would you not forgive them”…

~

Tuesday’s child…
Was mild and meek…

Had a sweet voice…
But dare not speak…

In fear of being…
Pushed away…

Or being punished…
Fading to grey…

Trying to avoid…
That cruel back hand…

Which demanded obedience…
And burned like a brand…

To be seen not heard…
Were words to live by…

Survival of the fittest…
“Eye Will Not Cry”…

Dodging verbal bullets…
Living with the abuse…

Never getting it right…
Covering each bruise…

Counting down the hours…
Waiting for the day…

That escape to freedom…
Would finally pave the way…

To a new existence…
One without any fear…

One without the pain…
One without the sneers…

That kept on coming…
No matter right or wrong…

As each furious beating…
Dispelled the need to belong…

Until the day it happened…
The abuse became too much…

A desire for self-preservation…
Led to a retaliatory punch…

The abuser losing footing…
Falling down the stairs…

And the key to freedom…
Was contained in a lifeless stare…

~

“It’s my soul that you shook”…

~

Smiling with his eyes,
quickly gaining her trust…

Too good to be true,
so gentle and yet… just…

Something about him,
something not quite right…

Like he had a dark aura,
that burned so bright…

And one day she saw it,
her heart nearly stopped…

Left her bruised and broken,
as the mask quickly dropped…

So she ran and she ran,
as fast as she could…

Getting far, far away,
leaving him for good…

Regaining some control,
beginning to live her life…

Away from his grasp and
his venomous spite…

Breaking those chains,
running wild and free…

Keeping it so real,
for everybody to see…

Always moving forward,
never daring to look back…

Where memories sit waiting,
to uncoil and to attack…

And unpick the scars,
that time has slowly healed…

Because on this journey,
her true voice was revealed…

And she found a space,
his anger couldn’t reach…

An independent haven,
on her own private beach…

Numbing all her pain,
with a soul filled language…

Revitalising her soul and
repairing all the damage…

~

Art – GillyFace

Music – http://www.alicephoebelou.com/wp/

https://www.facebook.com/alicephoebeloumusic

 

 

“She was, an American girl”…

Wishing all my American readers a very Happy Fourth of July…

~

The electrical storm…
Raged high overhead…

Deep in the night…
As she lay in her bed…

Piercing the darkness…
Lighting up the sky…

Like a firework display…
On the Fourth of July…

Her dreams in tatters…
Something had died…

There was nothing left…
Behind tear-stained eyes…

Just a wall of silence…
And a vast black void…

A haunting reminder…
Of what she destroyed…

As her venomous tongue…
Fired arrows, sharp & twisted…

She lost all control…
But as the red mist lifted…

She realised the hurt…
And saw all his wounds…

But was unable to recover…
Knew they were doomed…

Destroying any trust…
That had once flourished…

Broke his kind heart…
That she once cherished…

And pushed him away…
Built so many walls…

Till he finally craved solitude…
Time away from it all…

As he’d forgiven so much…
So many of her mistakes…

But this time was different…
And he had to escape…

So he left in the rain…
Running far, far away…

Leaving her broken…
Filled with regret & dismay…

~

“Our heartbeats becoming slow”…

~

The big city boy and
the small town girl…

Lust filled the senses,
as the whirlwind whirled…

Under star filled skies,
it was laced with mystery…

Playing in the darkness,
fulfilling fantasies…

Revealing to each other,
dark forbidden secrets…

Trying not to contemplate,
any morning after regrets…

That would surely follow,
in the cold light of day…

But until that moment,
in each other’s arms they lay…

Making a commitment,
to end it all together…

A simple suicide pact,
that would last forever…

And when the time came,
they would find a place…

To lay with each other and
hold each other’s gaze…

Leave behind the madness,
begin a new journey…

Which would be eternal,
one that would see…

Them together forever,
floating amongst the stars…

As light as a feather,
no baggage and no scars…

Just two souls colliding,
a pair of hearts in love…

Refusing to be chained,
finding freedom high above…

But until that sweet moment,
no one can ever know…

As this love is forbidden,
it belongs in the shadows…

~

Amazing art by NoteS28

“And these memories lose their meaning”…

~

There are moments in life…
You can never live again…

Moments of pure joy…
Moments of searing pain…

Moments of distraction…
Moments of sinful pleasure…

And moments of deep regret…
That haunt you at your leisure…

There are moments of hurt…
That rip out your heart…

Moments of pure insanity…
Never planned for at the start…

There are moments you create…
And moments that just happen…

The ones you didn’t foresee…
But they left you totally flattened…

There are moments you captured…
Now embedded in your brain…

The ones that you dream about…
Watch again, frame by frame…

And moments that backfired…
That became your nightmares…

They haunt you in your sleep…
Pushing you into deep despair…

There are moments you cherish…
Ones that make you smile…

Moments when life had meaning…
And it all felt so worthwhile…

Those moments you rewind…
The ones you try to replay…

Not the moments of regret…
That must be locked away…

And there was a moment of clarity…
When it all came together…

When you realised your path…
Was the route to stormy weather…

And you came to a crossroads…
Where you finally had to choose…

Was this the life you wanted…
Time to stick or twist, bust and lose…

~

Photo by @michalhustaty on instagram

“And we know there’s no need to forgive”…

~

The little bird glides…
Upon broken wings…

Burdened by pain…
And unable to sing…

Not able to focus…
On the world around…

Her ears are deaf…
Can’t hear a sound…

Consumed by the black…
That covers her eyes…

Distorts all her senses…
She’s blind as she flies…

Into the huge storm…
That rages ahead…

Battling her demons…
Who want her dead…

Struggling to find…
A sanctuary shelter…

A safe place to land…
Someone to help her…

To tend her wounds…
See her though the night…

Ease all her worries…
Listen to her plight…

Someone she can trust…
With her inner fears…

Hold her so very tight…
And dry all her tears…

Instead she is left…
So cold and all alone…

Far far away from…
Where she calls home…

And the one she left…
Who broke her heart…

Leaving her needing…
To make a fresh start…

Where she can begin…
To rebuild and live…

Never, ever intending…
To look back and forgive…

“But in your dreams, whatever they be”…

~

She knows the words…
But not their meaning…

Hears them whilst sleeping…
Amidst all the screaming…

That soundtracks the night…
When she closes her eyes…

Slipping into the nightmare…
That makes her cry…

The one where she’s lost…
And so very alone…

In the middle of nowhere…
Running far from her home…

And the ones she loves…
Those she holds dear…

They cannot find her…
And they’ll never hear…

Her desperate shouts…
Echoing through the night…

No one can save her…
She is alone in this fight…

Against her dark demons…
Who cause her distress…

And haunt her nights…
Whilst clawing at her dress…

In the midst of blackness…
Rendering her sight blind…

As she runs in circles…
So desperate to find…

Some hope of escape…
A tiny chink of light…

That would finally bring…
An end to this fight…

But the words keep coming…
So softly spoken…

And the beast with wings…
Has now awoken…

She hides out of sight…
And silently screams…

But she’ll never be free…
Within this poisonous dream…

~

 

“There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me”…

~

It’s cold and it’s dark…

No sunlight in there…

Alone with his thoughts…

All alone with his fears…

Just those four walls…

And his mental cell…

An inescapable prison…

The never-ending Hell…

With voices that echo…

Deep inside his head…

Sending him crazy…

Torture, drip-fed…

Around and around…

Around the fuckers go…

Will they ever stop…

He really doesn’t know…

Laughing one minute…

Then they’re screaming…

Is he really awake…

Or is he just dreaming…

And all this is fake…

Just one big illusion…

That fucks with his mind…

Leading to much confusion…

Punching his stomach…

Leaving such dull ache…

While the sickness and nausea….

Prevent any hope of escape…

Leaving him feeling helpless…

And spinning his wheels…

A life that’s never lived…

And one that’s unable to feel…

As there is no way out…

Not now, not ever…

The darkness has engulfed…

The blackness is forever…

Because it’s so very dark…

No hope exists in there…

And every fibre of his soul…

Is crippled by the fear…

~

“She’s the angel of small death and the codeine scene”…

~

She tries to find beauty,
in almost everything…

As she immerses herself,
in her life’s darkest sins…

The guilty feelings and
tears she’s cried…

In-between the Red and Black,
is where she now resides…

Ignoring all the voices,
who dictate right from wrong…

Dancing through life her way and
writing lyrics to her own song…

Enjoying moments she’s stolen,
on life’s wild, wild side…

Trying to focus outwards,
not on the inside…

Learning to draw strength,
where others only feel fear…

Welcoming her demons and
now keeping them near…

Dancing with the Devil,
whilst playing with his fire…

Elevating her tattered soul,
higher, higher and higher…

Gambling all she has left,
on following a dream…

That is forever recurring,
but it’s not what it seems…

As she’s driven on,
in the midst of hidden pain…

And if she let it defeat her,
she would simply go insane…

Because she’s broken inside,
like a jigsaw missing pieces…

The result of his lies and
the sum of his beatings…

So she looks for distraction,
in absolutely everything…

It’s the only way she can ever,
forget his bitter sting…

~