Second Prize…

~

He was never really yours…
Despite anything he said…

His lies just filled the silence…
Fucking with your head…

He sucked on your soul…
Like a vampire drinking blood…

He drained your emotions…
Whilst feasting on the flood…

Because the boy had a heart…
Which loved two things…

The twisted demon’s darkness…
And the angel’s pure white wings…

You were caught in between…
The push and the pull…

Forwards then backwards…
Till your poor head was full…

And it left you spinning…
Around and around…

Never quite knowing…
Feet never on firm ground…

One moment you felt special…
The next you just felt used…

An emotional roller-coaster…
Specifically designed to confuse…

As he chased your distraction…
And the excitement it brings…

Which made him feel alive…
Made his distorted soul sing…

He craved sinful electricity…
And your safety never compared…

But he needed both to live…
That’s why he wasn’t prepared…

To commit to you completely…
And live just half a life…

He took the best of both worlds…
Danced on the edge of the knife…

Never really telling the truth…
Never caring that you cried…

And though you never gave up hope…
You were always second prize…

 

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Two People” By Justin Currie

 

Echo Chamber…

~
Oh Lord, oh my Lord…
I don’t know if I dare…
Oh Lord, oh my Lord…
Ever expose myself bare…

As it’s so overwhelming…
This power you create…
The silver lines you’re spinning…
Just connect and resonate…

Painting pictures in my mind…
Planting music in my soul…
Your voice is full of kindness…
I’m simply under your control…

As you have this capability…
To extract me from reality…
Into a realm of total fantasy…
Do you realise what you do to me…

Oh Lord, Oh my Lord…
I’m blessed by your presence…
Oh Lord, oh my Lord…
I worship your very essence…

For in your generous company…
I cannot begin to focus…
When your eyes glance my way…
It’s witchcraft, it’s hocus pocus…

The spell that you have woven…
Transcends all time and space…
It transports this mortal being…
High above this Earthly place…

And I wonder if you see it…
If you know exactly how I feel…
But we can never speak of it…
That’s the twisted, fucked up deal…

So it’s hidden from conversation…
It’s buried deep down inside…
It resides in my echo chamber…
A secret carried till I’ve died…

Oh Lord, oh sweet Lord…
You simply drive me wild..
And in my darkest dreams…
I become your Heathen Child…

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Heathen Child” by Grinderman

Struggle Under The Weight…

~

Surrounded by love…
As he sits in his chair…

Feels their warmth of affection…
Yet there’s a chill in the air…

One only he can feel…
A guilt laced iced dart…

Piercing through his defences…
And straight into his heart…

Keeping him grounded…
Reminding of dark times…

That the mask that he wears…
Still hides his old crimes…

And he knows the veneer…
Is so fragile, so very thin…

It could shatter anytime…
And his demons will win…

Leave him pleading for mercy…
So open and exposed…

And afraid of their judgement…
For sins committed in shadows…

His secret dark double life…
The snake tattooed on his back…

A permanent inked reminder…
Of a time etched in black…

Where his actions and deeds…
Sit like a crown of thorns…

Wrapping his heart in chains…
Tainted by the devil’s horns…

Always clouding his vision…
Always feeling their presence…

He knows this is never ending…
It will be a life sentence…

And as he quietly sits there…
Feeling such a fucking fraud…

Locked in his mental prison…
His soul damned and flawed…

Watching their smiling faces…
Filled with love and with trust…

His guilt gains extra burden…
Under the weight, he is crushed…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Truth is a Beautiful Thing” By London Grammar

The Truth…

~

He’s not the man you thought he was…
You can see it deep in his eyes…

That mask he’s worn every day…
Was a thin and fragile disguise…

Constructed of smoke and mirrors…
It relied upon casual distraction…

Keeping you from seeing the truth…
Kept you away from the real action…

As he struck a deal with the Devil…
Upon turning the age of Thirty Three…

And in exchange for sinful pleasures…
He handed over his soul so willingly…

But you would never have known it…
As he kept it all so well hidden…

And from the outside looking in…
You’d never see all that’s forbidden…

Nor the sweet fruit that he’d tasted…
Or the lives that he had destroyed…

Whilst he took just what he wanted…
Breaking hearts like childrens toys…

But now he drowns in the darkness…
Long gone are those days of light…

His vision is now clouded by sadness…
Regret replaces those once lustful nights…

As the sands of time are running out…
And he is counting down the days…

All that remains are the flashbacks…
Vivid memories trap him in a maze…

Whilst he faces up to the grim reality…
That his time on Earth is now short…

He could not escape this forever…
Immortality could never be bought…

And that fear of what is coming…
The Hell that will be his prison…

Fills his cold heart with a panic…
As he knows he can’t be forgiven…

There’s nothing more he can do…
The damage has already been done…

And the next chapter that he faces…
Will be full of Fire and Brimstone…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “It Seemed The Better Way” By Leonard Cohen

Side Three…

~
Every love becomes hate story…
Is a circle with three sides…

There is his and there is hers…
Both are desperate to advise…

Each with a made up version…
Of what they want you to hear…

Both twisting and distorting…
To custom fit your listening ear…

Then somewhere in-between…
All the hurt and all their lies…

Quietly sits the side three…
Which neither party can disguise…

It’s the heart of the matter…
Forged from the purest truth…

One no detective can decipher…
Not even the greatest sleuth…

It’s the grey area that’s ignored…
The facts that fiction glazes over…

The real reason for their pain…
Like an unwelcome hangover…

Because this version will not bend…
It refuses to be subjective…

And without any feelings…
It remains true, cold and objective…

So no matter what is said…
By each or either party…

Who will spin and try disguise…
To ensure the waters are murky…

It remains something honest…
For that reason it’s overlooked…

But when listening to each version…
Truth needs to be fish hooked…

And dragged into the picture…
Before any judgement is made…

Or you think of taking sides…
Between the light and the shade…

Because care needs to be taken…
Believing versions of their story…

And choosing between his and hers…
As they try rewrite their history…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “If You Could Read My Mind” By Gordon Lightfoot

Retrospective…

~

My eyes can see clearly now…
Through the pain we amassed…

To understand it for what it was…
Enough time has now passed…

And penetrate those defences…
The walls that we both built…

Constructed with our anger…
As we allowed our love to wilt…

A love that was once so beautiful…
But became toxic and decayed…

And the cast iron trust we held…
Gave way to feelings so betrayed…

Whilst in the heat of the moment…
Those vicious words wounded…

Becoming arrows of destruction…
Before we both finally concluded…

The only way to move forward…
Was six degrees of separation…

Some space and time to think…
Without any fear of vilification…

But now I’m able to look back…
Even though it’s all very raw…

And see we never stood a chance…
In that cold degenerating war…

As those cracks are now so vivid…
I see where it began to fall apart…

Yet we never saw it coming…
As we fumbled along in the dark…

Living in a disconnected world…
Dominated by our selfish actions…

Never seeing the bigger picture…
And burdened by slow reactions…

Which allowed those demons in…
Those sinful thoughts to grow…

So when our greatest test came…
Those weaknesses were shown…

And I can see it clearly now…
But at the time I was consumed…

Eyes filled with rage and jealousy…
That destroyed and left us doomed…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Jealous Guy” By John Lennon

 

Down In Flames…

~

You vindictive, spiteful bitch…
Using every word you say…

To manipulate situations…
And always get your way…

Thinking you’re so clever…
You’re above everybody else…

And he can’t see through you…
Through all your pitiful pretence…

That you’re a pathetic little girl…
Requiring his constant attention…

You use him just to validate you…
And in every sentence to mention…

Whilst putting your name in lights…
Like you’re some big Hollywood star…

Receiving his praise and platitudes…
About how truly wonderful you are…

As you need this just to function…
To go about your pitiful soulless life…

It gives you a sense of purpose…
So you use your tongue as a knife…

Living by one rule for you…
Cutting out one for the others…

Making them up as you go along…
But when it suits you smother…

Any thought of his rebellion…
Or desire for his freedom of choice…

You act like his puppet master…
Controlling him with your voice…

Hypnotising his utter compliance…
Making him hang on every word…

Careful to make so damn sure…
That only your needs are served…

And like a poisonous little snake…
Your grip on him is tightly curled…

Keeping him locked in the shadows…
Taking centre stage of his world…

But you’re not fooling anyone…
With the way you play mind games…

One day your spell will be broken…
And he’ll watch you go down in flames…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” By Johnny Cash

Heartbreaker…

~

What if he said that he loved you…
After all’s been said and done…

What if he uttered those three words…
And confessed you were the one…

Admitted it’s never been over…
That he’s still utterly obsessed…

Craving to be with you each moment…
But his feelings have to be repressed…

As no one can know the truth…
So he buries them deep down inside…

And the moment he pushed you away…
The truth is, he simply just lied…

Because you’re the one in his dreams…
It’s your face when he closes his eyes…

He fell on the day that he met you…
Each day since he’s had to disguise…

The connection that exists between you…
Unspoken memories you’ve amassed…

Wrapped up in small talk conversation…
Never talking about what has past…

Those sweet stolen moments of sin…
The lies that became secret memoirs…

That somehow still burn so brightly…
In-between the battle lines and scars…

Thoughts he pretends to have forgotten…
In a form of twisted self-preservation…

Carrying on with his day to day life…
Without thought or any hesitation…

Yet wondering what might have been…
If the midnight stars had aligned…

If the planets had somehow collided…
Allowing hearts to become entwined…

Instead the potent spell was broken…
Leaving moments of bitter regret…

Within a lingering mist of maybes…
But a commitment to never forget…

And what if he said he remembered…
Every second of the whole affair…

Would the gravity of that confession…
Reveal the truth or just simply a dare…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “I’m Going To Stop Pretending” by The EELS

Unforgiven…

~

The little bird glides…
Upon broken wings…

Burdened by pain…
And unable to sing…

Not able to focus…
On the world around…

Her ears are deaf…
Can’t hear a sound…

Consumed by the black…
That covers her eyes…

Distorts all her senses…
She’s blind as she flies…

Into the huge storm…
That rages ahead…

Battling her demons…
Who want her dead…

Struggling to find…
A sanctuary shelter…

A safe place to land…
Someone to help her…

To tend her wounds…
See her though the night…

Ease all her worries…
Listen to her plight…

Someone she can trust…
With her inner fears…

Hold her so very tight…
And dry all her tears…

Instead she is left…
So cold and alone…

Far far away from…
Where she called home…

And the one she left…
Who broke her heart…

Leaving her needing…
To make a fresh start…

Where she can begin…
To rebuild and live…

As she’ll never go back…
And she’ll never forgive…

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “We No Who U R” by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

A Ghost Drifts In…

Long time friend and supporter of this blog Nathan returns with a heartbreaking poem as tonight’s Guest Poet

You can read more of Nathan’s work here https://randompoemswithnohome.wordpress.com

If you would like to partake in Guest Poet Week during January 2017, please submit your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk before 6th Jan 2017

Cheers
J

I’m standing at your door
soaked with panic and fear.
I love you so much!
Please be okay!
is all that runs through my
saddening, stifled mind as
I slip my frenzied note
beneath the breath of your door.

I wanted to marry you that week,
infusing a life we wanted
a little bit sooner because
I needed to save you.
I failed.

I failed because our wedding date
is just around the corner…
December 14, 2016, and you died.

I was too desperately late
to hack your email account,
posting a message as you
on your Facebook wall
delivering justifiable cause
for the police to enter your room.

I was too late as I listen
to your last, urgent voicemail
that prays for me to come over now
because you’re taking all your meds
…and all the heroin
you had.

I had no idea the holidays
would sigh with so much pain.
Days pile on with anxious guilt,
with blame becoming like blades
slicing the eloquent edge
of a sorrowed song
into me.

I know your smell because
your perfume and portraits
are sprinkled throughout this home.
This home that should be
ours.