Freedom…

~

There was no end to the war…
No vaccine for her virus…

That noise in her head was constant…
She craved for simple silence…

She found it hard to focus…
Her tears would sting and burn…

Her feelings were overwhelming…
Drove her to a point of no return…

Her emptiness needed numbing…
And pills would mask the pain…

One of her comforting old habits…
As she swallowed with vodka again…

It brought clarity and reflection…                     
Provided a chance to look back…

As the memories overwhelmed her…
She saw good mixed with the bad…

The world wasn’t always against her…
Not everyone was so unkind…

There were glimpses of real happiness…
As battles were fought in real-time…

Realisation started to wash over her…
Kind faces began flooding her dream…

She heard voices filled with pity…
But they became a deafening scream…

Her life force slowly ebbed away…
She was moving towards the light…

Soft lullabies filled all her senses…
As she tried so hard to fight…

The panic set in and infected…
This poor girl was in need of saving…

As this wasn’t really her intention…
Nor the silence she’d been craving…

Her eyes became tired and heavy…
Sleep seemed so safe and warm…

The angels began whispering secrets…
Ready to remove her from all harm…

And as time waits for no one…
The moment came swiftly, then passed…

Leaving her floating body weightless…
And free from all pain at last…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Catherine Wheels” by Crowded House

 

Pull Me…

Please welcome Chris as tonight’s Guest Poet!

You can read more of Chris’s work here: https://survivingthespecter.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/pull-me-poetry/

If you would like to become a Guest Poet, please email me your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

Pull Me

I had a little trigger that pushed me all the way
To hang myself upon my door, I couldn’t make it go away
I knocked it down with sleeping pills, and tucked it in with rum
The Spectre slashed his razor claws, the round had slipped into the gun

I had a little trigger that pulled itself real tight
I slipped the belt around my neck, I lost the will to fight
I cut it off with leather cinched, this time would be the last
I’d ever have to take again, the demons from my past

I had a little trigger, it jabbed me in my throat
To end the crap that smeared itself, across the lies it wrote
The failures, loss, resentment, of a thousand dreaded days
To suck out all the happiness, replaced it with the grey that stays

The trigger pulled, the hammer fell
The firing pin that sealed my hell
Waiting while the light fades out
Extinguishing without a shout

Hung…

~

Sat in the woods…
Under a big oak tree…

The knotted rope hanging…
His mental state is uneasy…

Whilst the quiet wind whispers…
And tree branches wave…

The warm sunshine glistens…
In a last attempt to save…

As he gazes in wonder…
Of the awe inspiring beauty…

The simplicity of this life…
As the bees go about their duty…

And the contrast it paints…
With his bitter time on earth…

Filled with pain and anger…
Subjected to so much hurt…

That rained down upon him…
In a relentless shit storm…

The never ending trauma…
From the day he was born…

But as flashbacks consume him…
The decision’s already made…

And in this open theatre…
His last act will be played…

Where no one will bear witness…
And no one will see…

This decent into madness…
His final brush with insanity…

Or watch as he climbs…
And edge out onto the limb…

With his mind in isolation…
The darkness will soon win…

Overcoming his fragile psyche…
Taking his ravaged soul…

Dragged along by the voices…
That remain in full control…

And as rope burns neck…
He takes a deep, sad breath…

Offers up his final prayer…
And steps off to his death…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “O’Children” by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

“She’ll come slowly rising, on the air”…

~

She found the letter…
And read the words…

She fell to the ground…
Her cry scattered the birds…

She laid there in shock…
Just couldn’t take it all in…

She didn’t know what to do…
Didn’t know where to begin…

She was enveloped in sadness…
Became shrouded in black…

She couldn’t ever accept…
He was never coming back…

She became so isolated…
Felt so goddamned trapped…

She was blinded by the pain…
Knew she would never adapt…

She loved him so much…
But felt so empty inside…

She craved his smell…
Needed his hand to guide…

She felt so alone…
Like life had no meaning…

She became a shadow…
Only seen in the evening…

She could not see…
Knew the silence would last…

She couldn’t move on…
Was entombed in the past…

She had believed in forever…
And dreamt of growing old…

She could not cope…
As depression took hold…

She lost the will to live…
And decided to get out…

She swallowed the pills…
Without hesitation or doubt…

Then she found him again…
As he sat waiting for her…

The couple finally reunited…
In Death’s cold, hazy blur…

~

“Lately, words are missing from now on”…

~

Immersed in the silence…

Standing high above…

Away from all the chaos…

With the view of a dove…

Looking down upon them…

Invisible to them all…

The only time they’ll notice…

Is when the ground halts her fall…

She doesn’t know how she got here…

Her day has been a blur…

But the voices keep on talking…

And she’s no strength left to defer…

As this moment has been coming…

She’s grown darker by the day…

Her demons kept tormenting…

Her depression wouldn’t go away…

She’s been looking for an answer…

She’s been praying for a sign…

An end to her inner turmoil…

By some heavenly design…

But the gods have not listened…

Despite all the preachers lies…

Leaving her no other option…

But to sever all her ties…

And as she stands there gazing….

At what lies far below…

She thinks of her family…

Who just didn’t want to know…

The friends who didn’t notice…

And never heard her pleas…

Whist the voices in her head…

Finally forced her to her knees…

To this point of no return…

A place of darkness and despair…

Where her life has no meaning…

Amongst a pile of unanswered prayers…

Leaving only pain and anger…

Pushing her closer to the edge…

And in a desperate bid for freedom…

She steps off the ledge…

~

“They say I’m mental, but I’ve been abused”…

~

He walked up the steps…
And stumbled inside…

Into the room at the top…
Where the memory resides…

Of his pure innocence…
Cruelly ripped away…

On a dark summer night…
After a long hot day…

It’d started so brightly…
Filled with endless love…

No hint of the evil…
Descending from above…

In that room as he slept…
And was quietly woken…

Subjected to such horrors…
That left him just broken…

Unable to speak…
And unable to smile…

It scarred him forever…
His soul in exile…

Never spoken about since…
Kept in secret & silence…

In fear that speaking out…
May lead to violence…

So it was locked away…
In a box labelled shame…

Forgetting the horror…
Never speaking its name…

Moving on with his life…
Smoothing out its creases…

Trying to live with it…
And pick up the pieces…

But now he is back…
After all those years…

Stood in that room…
Holding back the tears…

With a knife in his hand…
It’s time to submit…

Switch off his pain…
And finally end it…

~

“Our heartbeats becoming slow”…

~

The big city boy and
the small town girl…

Lust filled the senses,
as the whirlwind whirled…

Under star filled skies,
it was laced with mystery…

Playing in the darkness,
fulfilling fantasies…

Revealing to each other,
dark forbidden secrets…

Trying not to contemplate,
any morning after regrets…

That would surely follow,
in the cold light of day…

But until that moment,
in each other’s arms they lay…

Making a commitment,
to end it all together…

A simple suicide pact,
that would last forever…

And when the time came,
they would find a place…

To lay with each other and
hold each other’s gaze…

Leave behind the madness,
begin a new journey…

Which would be eternal,
one that would see…

Them together forever,
floating amongst the stars…

As light as a feather,
no baggage and no scars…

Just two souls colliding,
a pair of hearts in love…

Refusing to be chained,
finding freedom high above…

But until that sweet moment,
no one can ever know…

As this love is forbidden,
it belongs in the shadows…

~

Amazing art by NoteS28

“And I know you’re out there somewhere”…

~

He found her ribbon…
Tied to the tree…

And felt the pain…
Felt so damn guilty…

Recognising the sign…
He knew she was lost…

And he’d paid the price…
The ultimate cost…

As he’d hear her words…
But never listened…

Missing the warnings…
As the sunlight glistened…

Those empty threats…
And hollow words…

Became background noise…
Just like the birds…

Who woke him daily…
From his deep sleep…

He dismissed her voice…
As talk is cheap…

Always threatening…
But never doing…

It became a bore…
She was always rueing…

How bad her life was…
How she couldn’t cope…

The world was against her…
She was running out of hope…

She was drained of her energy…
Always down and depressed…

And he stopped listening…
Her claims were dismissed…

But she dug so deep…
And found some courage…

Left behind her pain…
Floated from the wreckage…

And she tied a ribbon…
Tight to the tree…

For him to find…
For him to finally see…

~

“Sticking around for this shit, another day”…

~

The same old faces…
In the same old town…

So many memories…
Bringing her down…

Stuck in a world…
That doesn’t understand…

Where nothing really works…
Or ever goes to plan…

Where feeling pain…
Has become the norm…

And every sunset…
Unleashes the storm…

The battle that rages…
Inside her numb head…

The whispering voices…
The cruel words said…

Suggesting it’s time…
She’d be better off…

If she just disconnected…
And simply switched off…

Her life support system…
The air she’s breathing…

Submit to her death…
And enjoy the feeling…

That would come…
With the ultimate freedom…

And turn her back…
Just simply leave them…

All the same faces…
Those bitter memories…

And so called friends…
Who act like enemies…

As they stole her past…
And haunt her present…

She’s in need of a future…
Where she doesn’t resent…

All that is past…
All that has been…

As with one small action…
She could be set free…

~

 

“You don’t really want anymore from me”…

~

It’s happened again…
The universe has spoken…

A single lightning strike…
Left her scarred and broken…

Unable to communicate…
Not able to recover…

She’s stranded on a beach…
Looking for some cover…

And trying to find a way…
To cleanse her sins…

Because as soon as it ends…
It always begins…

Like a vicious circle…
Going round and round…

Moving in the shadows…
Living deep underground…

Where her demons roam…
And the Devil plays…

Infecting her soul…
With never-ending days…

Shrouding her in darkness…
Blocking out the light…

It’s impossible to escape…
And impossible to fight…

But the time has come…
To run from the madness…

And leave far behind…
The pain and the sadness…

That she has craved…
Like some fatal addiction…

A built in need…
A mental affliction…

That kept her chasing…
Love’s impossible dream…

And now she craves…
Her final scene…

In a home movie made…
Within her own head…

And as the credits role…
Her blood will be shed…

~